Life, as it goes.

I was going through Manishbhai's blog and i read the post "Mee Punekar, Rest (Ko) Baharkar", the comments it has received and the responses that Manishbhai gave. I have also been subject to Manishbhai's criticism of slotting North Indians and considering UP/ Bihar has twins etc. etc. I respect his point view and also understand that for somone hailing from the North Indian states, it must be irritating to be constantly considered a level below when it comes to culture, discipline and law abidence just because they live in the North.

In this post I am not going to give my opinion on this subject as I do not consider my view broad enough to emcompass the plethora of issues and opinions involved in this sensitive subject. Another reason why I refrain from giving my opinion and also sometimes stop other people from doing so is that most opinions are more often then not based on personal experiences and anecdotal information. One more reason and a dangerous one is brainwashing that we receive from people around us. Our parents, elders, friends whom are the opinion makers in our life influence us and till the time we have our own experiences we assume theirs as ours.

Giving you an example of how our opinions get etched in stone out of personal experiences is my own dislike for Delhi because I got severely eve-teased on one of my trips there. Since then I feel uncomfortable with the attitude of men there. This is a biased opinion and definately based on personal experience. There is no reason for me to dislike an entire city and all the people in it just because the "nazar" of those men is wierd. Fact remains, men are men everywhere and its not that I don't get felt up in Mumbai but still I refuse to change my opinion of Delhi. Though I have Delhites as friends, I still don't like that city. You will call me unfair and I accept it but then maybe so are you if you have certain generalisations which are based merely on things that have happened to you.

Such incidents and experiences happen every day to us and instead of considering them exceptions to the rule we tend to believe them to be the rules. Just yesterday I faced a similar
situation. I took a cab from Grant Road station to my office just like every other day but on my way I encountered a traffic jam. The cab driver, a youngish guy, had to manouver around a huge truck which was blocking the already crowded lane.

Cabs ahead of us managed to squeeze through the small gap that was available beside the truck, and since my cab was exactly behind the truck, the cabbie had to swerve a bit to get through and inadvertently hit a bike parked on the side of the road. The bike's owner suddenly exploded into wild abuses.

The words were distinctly Marathi and horridly dirty with mother and sister sprinkled all over. The jist of what the man said was, "Don't you know how to drive, you @#$##%^, na jaane kahan kahan se aa jaate hai, saala #$^!@#&^, go back to where you came from, @#$%&#* !#%Q@#$^ @!#!^#$^!!^#$ .... and so on.

My cabbie took it very calmly and said, "Maaf karna boss. Galti se lag gaya. Thoda sa bike hatai lo toh nikal jayenge hum." His accent was obviously North Indian (sorry Manishbhai for slotting but thats how it sounded)

That angered the man even more. He stood in front of the cab and yelled even more in sickening language. Some people started to gather. I looked out of the window hoping the man might calm down if he saw a woman in the cab but no, the guy was still going on. Firstly he had parked in a no parking zone and upar se there wasn't even a scratch on his bike.

The cabbie looked at me puzzled. But he was a man after all and was obviously angered at the abuses. I decided to get off there to save him the trouble so that he could just take a turn from there and get away. Though before I left I wanted to do just one thing.

I walked to the yelling man and said in Marathi, "Bas boss. abhi jaane do."

"Arre madam aap in logon ko nahi jaanti. Na jaane kahan se aa gaya hai." He replied, calmer but his eyes were burning still with some wierd anger.

"Boss, uska toh pata nahi par aapki bhasha se pata chal jaata hi ki aap kahan se aaye ho." I replied quietly in his language, "Abhi ho gaya ho toh jaane do humko."

Thank God there was some shame left in the man and he moved aside, I started walking and the cabbie instead of turning and going away, overtook me and indicated me to get back in. He dropped me at my desitnation without a word and as I exited the cab he said, "Thank you madam." I like to believe that the Thank you was not just for paying him the fare.

Now this incident will influence my opinion either strengthen it or break it but I cannot by any stretch of imagination consider all North Indian cabbies as good and all Marathi manus as bad. I am not saying that we are not entitled to our opinions, we are definately. Freedom of thought and freedom of opinion are our rights in a democracy but there is also a duty attached to it, a duty to keep an open mind and an open heart. Neither let our opinions influence our actions in a negative manner nor let popular opinions govern us.

We have the right and the duty to decide how to react to a situation but remember that our reaction will build some else's opinion. We have the power to be positive and build a nation that is powerful not because of its military power but because of the power of unified people.