Life, as it goes.

Things are not going so well from the work point of view in life. I have to give up on something I had worked very hard on for a very long time and that is painful. I have been crying a bit but hate myself for it so to end the dispair in my mind this was what I wrote to myself ...

Stop crying you fool. There are a lot of people much worse than you in the world and they bloody smile in front of all the pain. you have so much to thank God for. Just be grateful and get on with life. You have hated self-pity in other people so why are you getting into it yourself. Just shut up, do what has to be done in life. If you go on like this for long, you will be like one of those people who you hate.

Its difficult I know, but then what is not. If you were the wife of a rich man, your difficulty would be an identity crisis. if you were a rich businessman your difficulty would be extortionists and by God's grace if you had been the President of the United States there would be an Osama somewhere in the world causing pain in the wrong places.

So difficulty is going to be there. Remember the past instances where you overcame and how strong you became. This too shall pass. You might turn back and realise how stupid you were at wasting tears and time after something so irrelevant. And how can it not pass when time goes on without asking you whether it should. You have not lost something that you cannot rebuild, remember what Rudyard Kilpling said,

"If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;"

Of course like all men who think the world consists only of their kind he also addressed it to his 'son' but I guess you can give the credit that whatever he said is true. If this is what has happened to you, its sad but if I stand outside of you and see what has happened, I see nothing so bad. Get a grip, take a break and move on in life. There is so much to do, so much to see, so much to give and so little time.

Remember, you have not failed. This is not failure, you are doing well at every step because the real failure is if you fail as a human being. All these are just bumps on Indian roads. Why did I say Indian, well thats because they come without warning ... SO GET ON WITH LIFE. NOW.