Friday, October 27, 2006
Sasur - Jamai
The daughter's husband is supposed to be treated just about the same as one would treat God. The Jamai, the saviour, protector and provider of the daughter is the man whom the family must rever and respect. The father of the daughter inspite of being elder to the Jamai in status and age, has to greet the Jamai with the slight droop of shoulders and a bit of bow of the head. That is a regular practice in our country but with certain exceptions, one of them being my father and R.
R's parents are in the US and so he had no reason to go to Ahmedabad. Since my parents were also looking for a break, I invited them to my new house. R was all alone since his room mates went home so he stayed with us. It was a classic situation with possibilities of explosion because my father like all fathers thinks that i could have done better than R and R like all son-in-laws thinks that Papa is too conceited and conservative.
Mummy tried to save the day by her constant chatter but I was kind of worried that the combination would lead to either a volcano or a blizzard. Things were ok till R's office was on but from Saturday to Monday were holidays and I was at my wits end as to how to get the days to pass fast. Saturday was no problem as such because we went to my maasi's house and in the hulabaloo of cousins and friends no need arose to stir the still waters.
But on the fateful evening of Sunday we went to my bua's house for dinner and something happened there which had the possibilities of unpleasant repercussions as to whatever it was or wasn't between Papa and R. It all went well till dinner. We were all chatting and laughing about life in Mumbai with everyone participting cheerfully. We were quite a few in the tiny room, R, my parents, bua - fufaji, bua's daughter - jamai, bua's son and me.
At around 10:45 pm, M, bua's jamai got into his mind to burst crackers. Now both T, bua's daughter and M her husband are horizontally challenged. A, bua's son was not too enthusiastic about it, he mumbled something about the society not allowing crackers after 10:00 p.m. but nobody heeded him seriously. R was neutral and Mummy was too sleepy to object. Papa was enthusiastic about it and walked with M to the open area with everyone else trailing except my fufaji who wasn't keeping too well and had chosen to stay put.
After a couple of noisy bombs just as M started with the third a shrill voice yelled from the floors above.
"What are you people doing, stupid nonsense, you don't know the rule to stop crackers by 10:00 p.m. Stop immediately otherwise I will complain to the Chairman. Who are you people I have not seen you in the society before? How can you just go on with your boom boom you nonsense people? Ten is the limit in this society you should know ..."
On and on went the faceless voice. The lady was hidden by the branches of a tree so I could not see her but M could. He was standing motionless at the spot, I guess due to shock. T and A were also standing with him. T recovered the earliest and motioned M to stop with the crackers. We were all prepared to move away quietly after apologising to the lady, after all a rule is a rule, besides T's father was the Chairman of the society and it would look very bad if his family broke the rules, but M had other ideas.
To our utter amazement he started abusing the woman in return. "Who do you think you are telling me to stop? I will burst crackers as and when I please. It is Diwali and thats what one is supposed to do in Diwali, burst crackers. If the noise disturbs you put cotton in your ears."
T was taken aback at her husband's outburst, she held his bulky shoulder and asked him to calm down, "Jaane do ab, chalo kal phodenge patakhe."
"Arre why? I know what I am doing, I want to burst crackers now and I will burst them." M yelled at her.
Through this all of us were silent spectators whereas the lady above was still on with her cribbing and yelling. A couple of other windows also had faces on them of people prepared to watch an interesting row. Papa being the eldest there decided to intervene and indicated at M to quit it.
"Chalo yaha se, rule is rule na. Waise bhi it is quite late. Chal bhai chal." He said approaching M with A and R on his side.
Now M was so mad he resembled a raging bull, his size was quite similar so we were all a bit wary. Papa and R seemed dwarfish before him. The moment A held his arm attempting to direct him homewards, M pushed him away and grabbing a new bomb continued to light it at distance near the clearging. The woman was still yelling non-stop.
"I will call the police. You will have to spend the night in jail. I swear you will regret this. You nonsense stupid guy. All of you will go to jail. @#$%**!!"
M had by that time reached the point of no return. Flinging his arms towards the lady he yelled, "You want to call the police, go call them. Do whatever you want to I don't care. I will light this bomb."
T was the only one who could calm him we thought so A and T went towards him. "Don't come near me, don't stop me. I know what I am doing. Why are you stopping me instead of supporting me?" M warned.
"Stop acting like a child." T said calmly. "Why are you making a row in public? Stop all this and lets go home."
"Fine, fine, you want me to stop, I will stop and I will leave but I will not spend another night in your parents house." M yelled and throwing the bomb at us walked off in a huff. A tried to follow him but T indicated to leave him alone.
All this happened in a matter of minutes, we were all quite taken aback by the whole scene. It was very embarassing. R looked amused, Papa horrified. Bua and T seemed as if about to cry while A looked as if, if permitted he would get into a duel with M. Mom was trying to make light of it by joking about jamais. I looked up at that lady and apologised about the whole thing. Thankfully she drew back inside since her primary adversary had quit mumbling something under her breath.
The best thing to do after that was scoot. So Mom, Papa, R and I walked towards the auto stop. I heard my father say in a low voice to R,
"If you pull a stunt like that in my house, I will punch your lights out."
R looked at him and said, "With all due respect sir, I might respond just that way if anyone misbehaves in my house."
"Spoken like a real man." Papa said with a smile, "Both my daughters have chosen well."
Mom and I exchanged a look of suprise. This is as close as he would ever come to complimenting either of his son-in-laws is what we both thought. Mom then played a hand and managed to get them both share an auto while she and I came in another.
I guess what passed in the auto will remain a mystery but both of them did not come home straight and the next morning both woke up with a hangover. I guess men have their way of straightening things out. R and Papa seem have done that, alcohol helped of course, not that they are best of friends now but the volcano/ blizzard that threatened the peace of my little house has disappeared in the tinkling of bear mugs.
"Cheers" I say to that ...
R's parents are in the US and so he had no reason to go to Ahmedabad. Since my parents were also looking for a break, I invited them to my new house. R was all alone since his room mates went home so he stayed with us. It was a classic situation with possibilities of explosion because my father like all fathers thinks that i could have done better than R and R like all son-in-laws thinks that Papa is too conceited and conservative.
Mummy tried to save the day by her constant chatter but I was kind of worried that the combination would lead to either a volcano or a blizzard. Things were ok till R's office was on but from Saturday to Monday were holidays and I was at my wits end as to how to get the days to pass fast. Saturday was no problem as such because we went to my maasi's house and in the hulabaloo of cousins and friends no need arose to stir the still waters.
But on the fateful evening of Sunday we went to my bua's house for dinner and something happened there which had the possibilities of unpleasant repercussions as to whatever it was or wasn't between Papa and R. It all went well till dinner. We were all chatting and laughing about life in Mumbai with everyone participting cheerfully. We were quite a few in the tiny room, R, my parents, bua - fufaji, bua's daughter - jamai, bua's son and me.
At around 10:45 pm, M, bua's jamai got into his mind to burst crackers. Now both T, bua's daughter and M her husband are horizontally challenged. A, bua's son was not too enthusiastic about it, he mumbled something about the society not allowing crackers after 10:00 p.m. but nobody heeded him seriously. R was neutral and Mummy was too sleepy to object. Papa was enthusiastic about it and walked with M to the open area with everyone else trailing except my fufaji who wasn't keeping too well and had chosen to stay put.
After a couple of noisy bombs just as M started with the third a shrill voice yelled from the floors above.
"What are you people doing, stupid nonsense, you don't know the rule to stop crackers by 10:00 p.m. Stop immediately otherwise I will complain to the Chairman. Who are you people I have not seen you in the society before? How can you just go on with your boom boom you nonsense people? Ten is the limit in this society you should know ..."
On and on went the faceless voice. The lady was hidden by the branches of a tree so I could not see her but M could. He was standing motionless at the spot, I guess due to shock. T and A were also standing with him. T recovered the earliest and motioned M to stop with the crackers. We were all prepared to move away quietly after apologising to the lady, after all a rule is a rule, besides T's father was the Chairman of the society and it would look very bad if his family broke the rules, but M had other ideas.
To our utter amazement he started abusing the woman in return. "Who do you think you are telling me to stop? I will burst crackers as and when I please. It is Diwali and thats what one is supposed to do in Diwali, burst crackers. If the noise disturbs you put cotton in your ears."
T was taken aback at her husband's outburst, she held his bulky shoulder and asked him to calm down, "Jaane do ab, chalo kal phodenge patakhe."
"Arre why? I know what I am doing, I want to burst crackers now and I will burst them." M yelled at her.
Through this all of us were silent spectators whereas the lady above was still on with her cribbing and yelling. A couple of other windows also had faces on them of people prepared to watch an interesting row. Papa being the eldest there decided to intervene and indicated at M to quit it.
"Chalo yaha se, rule is rule na. Waise bhi it is quite late. Chal bhai chal." He said approaching M with A and R on his side.
Now M was so mad he resembled a raging bull, his size was quite similar so we were all a bit wary. Papa and R seemed dwarfish before him. The moment A held his arm attempting to direct him homewards, M pushed him away and grabbing a new bomb continued to light it at distance near the clearging. The woman was still yelling non-stop.
"I will call the police. You will have to spend the night in jail. I swear you will regret this. You nonsense stupid guy. All of you will go to jail. @#$%**!!"
M had by that time reached the point of no return. Flinging his arms towards the lady he yelled, "You want to call the police, go call them. Do whatever you want to I don't care. I will light this bomb."
T was the only one who could calm him we thought so A and T went towards him. "Don't come near me, don't stop me. I know what I am doing. Why are you stopping me instead of supporting me?" M warned.
"Stop acting like a child." T said calmly. "Why are you making a row in public? Stop all this and lets go home."
"Fine, fine, you want me to stop, I will stop and I will leave but I will not spend another night in your parents house." M yelled and throwing the bomb at us walked off in a huff. A tried to follow him but T indicated to leave him alone.
All this happened in a matter of minutes, we were all quite taken aback by the whole scene. It was very embarassing. R looked amused, Papa horrified. Bua and T seemed as if about to cry while A looked as if, if permitted he would get into a duel with M. Mom was trying to make light of it by joking about jamais. I looked up at that lady and apologised about the whole thing. Thankfully she drew back inside since her primary adversary had quit mumbling something under her breath.
The best thing to do after that was scoot. So Mom, Papa, R and I walked towards the auto stop. I heard my father say in a low voice to R,
"If you pull a stunt like that in my house, I will punch your lights out."
R looked at him and said, "With all due respect sir, I might respond just that way if anyone misbehaves in my house."
"Spoken like a real man." Papa said with a smile, "Both my daughters have chosen well."
Mom and I exchanged a look of suprise. This is as close as he would ever come to complimenting either of his son-in-laws is what we both thought. Mom then played a hand and managed to get them both share an auto while she and I came in another.
I guess what passed in the auto will remain a mystery but both of them did not come home straight and the next morning both woke up with a hangover. I guess men have their way of straightening things out. R and Papa seem have done that, alcohol helped of course, not that they are best of friends now but the volcano/ blizzard that threatened the peace of my little house has disappeared in the tinkling of bear mugs.
"Cheers" I say to that ...
Comments:
<< Home
lol @ the incident... even more amused at the exchange between your dad and r!
and quite happy abt their bonding... i guess you're quite relieved!
and quite happy abt their bonding... i guess you're quite relieved!
all i want to say is that your post made me miss My Parents.....:( :( mujhe ghar jaana hai
# posted by 
: 10:05 AM, October 28, 2006
: 10:05 AM, October 28, 2006
Beer/Daaru/Alcohol - the Great Leveller, The Great Binder, so many relationships it has forged , so many sales deals closed...aah , I love it :P
The post made for a very interesting read - guiltily I read it in office, oblivious to other people around amused at my amused smile as I read it.
And yeah, the fuss around 'jamai's is too much. And this remains thru out life. I still see my aged mamas giving that reverence to dad, and the same passed on to his own jamais :)
Waise, you guys phodoed bombs in the middle of the night! Shocking that civilised Mumbaiites do that too :-o I was livid at people here who were cracking firecrackers one week after Diwali. And the worst was when on Sunday, they started bursting it at 6:00 am!!!!!!! ( I think it was due to a festival called Chhat, more concentrated in Bihar)
The post made for a very interesting read - guiltily I read it in office, oblivious to other people around amused at my amused smile as I read it.
And yeah, the fuss around 'jamai's is too much. And this remains thru out life. I still see my aged mamas giving that reverence to dad, and the same passed on to his own jamais :)
Waise, you guys phodoed bombs in the middle of the night! Shocking that civilised Mumbaiites do that too :-o I was livid at people here who were cracking firecrackers one week after Diwali. And the worst was when on Sunday, they started bursting it at 6:00 am!!!!!!! ( I think it was due to a festival called Chhat, more concentrated in Bihar)
# posted by : 11:15 AM, October 30, 2006
: 11:15 AM, October 30, 2006
Well, u know that in Hindi son in laws are often referred as 'jamai raja' ... to be treated no less than a royalty!
[ Waise toh even daughter in laws are called 'Bahuranis'...but then that is a different story, and I guess it is just a coincidence that 'Bahurani' rhymes so well with 'Naukaraani':P]
[ Waise toh even daughter in laws are called 'Bahuranis'...but then that is a different story, and I guess it is just a coincidence that 'Bahurani' rhymes so well with 'Naukaraani':P]
# posted by : 11:18 AM, October 30, 2006
: 11:18 AM, October 30, 2006
hi anki, ya it was embarassing at that point but we have been laughing about it since. I am quite relived abt Papa and R getting on ok.
arre mehak, hamare post ne tumko dukhi kar diya? so sorry. waise my parents have left even I miss them now.
arre sirji, I quite know your thoughts on beer.
oh now I realise, you have a proper office set up now so reading it in office does give rise to a few guilty pangs and some raised eyebrows. jamai's uff so irritating sometimes waise Papa treats them as if they are bachhas.
Hello since when did 11:00 pm become middle of the night. Mumbai toh does not sleep till 2:00 am anyways. actually the police limits it till 12:00 so we were well within the law. We also had Chhat fireworks with lakhs of Biharis and Upites at Juhu beach watching the rising sun for the chhat pooja.
oh now I realise, you have a proper office set up now so reading it in office does give rise to a few guilty pangs and some raised eyebrows. jamai's uff so irritating sometimes waise Papa treats them as if they are bachhas.
Hello since when did 11:00 pm become middle of the night. Mumbai toh does not sleep till 2:00 am anyways. actually the police limits it till 12:00 so we were well within the law. We also had Chhat fireworks with lakhs of Biharis and Upites at Juhu beach watching the rising sun for the chhat pooja.
M took to his heart. Lady was right. Though, I won't call police, I will shoo such people out!
In the end all these R, M, A, & T became very confusing. I had to re-read it :-)
In the end all these R, M, A, & T became very confusing. I had to re-read it :-)
hi manishbhai, i agree the lady was right. and ya all those alphabets were confusing, but did want to write names after all Jamairaja ki izzat ka sawaal hai :)
Priyangini, that was interesting! Yeah I guess the typical distance exists and then it gradually smoothens out with time.
Am catching up with your blog after a long long time! Good to see you blogging back!
Am catching up with your blog after a long long time! Good to see you blogging back!
hi sudip, the differences resolve itself if both parties are willing.
I am back to blogging, not so active but trying to keep it alive. do keep coming.
Post a Comment
I am back to blogging, not so active but trying to keep it alive. do keep coming.
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]