Monday, March 12, 2007

The Spirit of Mumbai

Shruti liked to be on time for her 9:16 Churchgate slow train because the 40 minute journey from Andheri to Chruchgate is tedious and tiring, to say the least, and more so if you have to stand in midst of a crowd. So she would leave home keeping a few minutes to spare and wait at the platform. She was still young enough to jump into a moving train and secure a comfortable window seat. It was her routine and her other regular friends grudgingly let her take the best seat everyday because she was the quickest and the most agile.

Shruti believed that mornings in Mumbai make you realize the importance of minutes. minutes late in leaving home means you miss a train and land up 10 minutes late at office. That’s why people swear by their “7:48s” and “8:16s”– a reason why Mumbaikars walk, talk, eat, speak and breathe at a supersonic speed. And that’s why the city pulsates with motion every hour of the day or night. Once in a while it withdraws a step or two; it did a few days ago on July 11 due to the bomb blasts but then it bounces back. Call it desperation, or a no-choice existence, but nothing can really defeat the dynamic, never say die, spirit of Mumbai – a cliché but nevertheless absolutely true.

But today, contrary to her usual habit, Shruti was late. It was happening too frequently for her comfort, mainly because of her mother-in-law - Mummyji as she called her. She had come to stay with her from Indore and being a woman cocooned in a small town all her life, she just didn’t understand the ways of Mumbai, in spite of numerous patient explanations by both Shruti and her husband Adit.

“Will you just wash the bathroom sink and the shelves before you leave today?” Mummyji had said when Shruti was going for her shower. Shruti hated these sweetly uttered disguised orders which if she did not obey, the old lady would sulk and pout and ridiculously complain to her son how wrong his choice is.

“I am already a bit late, I’ll do it over the weekend.” Shruti muttered weakly, knowing fully well that the weekend would pass in myriad other left over chores; vacuuming the carpet, cleaning the refrigerator, the selling of the piling raddi which Mummyji had already reminded her of more than once. Shruti wished her bai would return soon from the holiday so that some of her burden could be shared.

Adit was standing near the door waiting for the elevator, about to leave. His mother always made sure that her son left comfortably in time. He noticed Shruti’s angry expression and looked at her, his eyes conveying a mixture of apology and request. To his mother he said, “We do all that over weekends Mummy, that’s how it works in Mumbai.”

“A woman’s priority should be her home, you should be ok reaching office late but keeping the house clean is your duty,” preached Mummyji and Shruti lost it completely. She wanted to yell back that if cleaning the bathroom sink would fetch her 50K per month she would gladly make that a priority but she controlled herself. Just then the elevator opened at the floor and Adit left shaking his head in frustration but he also let it be. There was no time for arguments.

Shruti did a half-hearted job of the instructed chores but in her rush, spilled shampoo all over, dropped the towel on the wet floor and on top of it the water stopped right in the middle of her hair wash.

As she stepped out of the shower she was in the foulest of moods and certain that she would miss her regular train. Without further interaction with Mummyji she got ready and rushed out of the house grabbing her handbag and laptop. Usually she took a bus to the station which was more or less the same one everyday. Since it came from Lokhandwala it was always less crowded because the public there weren’t the types to travel in BEST. But today she missed it too. Again, in the matter of minutes.

The bus that came was burdened with a crowd and several men hung at the door. With a yell of, “Jaagah dya jaagah dya,” she managed a foothold and shoved in clutching her handbag and laptop to her chest. Surrounded by men, she hated the short ride to the station.

It was too crowded to pin the blame on any one of them but she strongly suspected being felt up by someone. So she shifted, stepped on a couple of toes and elbowed innocent, unsuspecting people but somehow the perverse hand found its way again to her waist and stayed there. She couldn’t inch away anymore and as both her hands were full she suffered.

Thankfully the stop arrived soon but by the time she got off the bus she would have happily strangled the man who had felt her up only if she were able to identify who it was. It wasn’t really being felt up that was humiliating; it was the helplessness and inability to stop or even avenge it that took her goat.

She walked to the station at olympic speed, fueled more by anger than anything else, hoping her train would still be on the platform. Surprisingly there was a train but she soon realized it was the 9:23 one and even that was ready to leave. As the driver honked twice Shruti ran as fast as she could. She cursed the laptop and vowed to never bring it home again.

She made it into the compartment panting. All seats were taken, so she placed the laptop on the overhead rack and stood near the door, finally relaxing for the first time that morning.

The train had already started by then.

"Excuse me," a voice called but Shruti did not pay attention. The words were repeated. She looked at the direction of the voice wondering who it was.

"Is this bag yours?" The question was addressed to her and it came from a young lady : the typical suburban Mumbai everyday first-class commuter complete with an ipod and a book to pass the totally inactive one hour in the train. She was pointing towards the laptop above.

"Yes," Shruti replied.

"Can you come and sit here?" she indicated to a seat next to hers.

"Ummm why?" Shruti asked, a bit taken aback. Nobody in Mumbai tells others what to do, no one bothers really and never in the first class.

"Please sit here," the woman repeated.

"No, I can't sit inside. It’s too hot. I am ok here," Shruti replied, almost rudely. The morning’s anger was resurfacing and she felt her day was becoming worse by the minute.

"If you don't sit here, I will pull the chain." The woman said, her voice trembled a bit and it was rising to a nervous pitch.

"Arre, for what joy?" Shruti’s voice was mocking. She noticed the women around her looking up in alarm to see what was happening but no one intervened.

"What if you leave the bag and get off somewhere?" the woman almost shouted.

"I would loose my job if I leave it here and get off." Shruti replied and went towards the seats. Her temper was flaring again. She couldn’t possibly take one more altercation without blowing her top.

Up close Shruti saw that the lady was youngish and noticed the mehendi and chooda on her hands - the typical sign of a recently married woman. She seemed edgy and something about her was amiss but Shruti could not place it.

"Just sit here, who knows what’s in the bag?" Her face had turned white and the voice was panicky; her eyes held a strange fear.

"What do you mean?" But as she uttered those words Shruti realized what the woman really meant.

"I mean… what if this bag ..." she spoke in spurts but did not complete the sentence.

"Has a bomb?" Shruti completed it for her. She did not reply but Shruti could sense some hostility all around her. "I don't have a bomb in that bag. It’s just a laptop."

"I would take your word for it if you sit here, near it."

"I won’t sit inside. It is very hot and I don't like reaching office all drenched in sweat. You are a working woman, I’m sure you understand that."

"Listen that’s a stupid excuse, just sit here,” she was almost yelling.

"Oh shut up, do I look like a terrorist to you? If you have a problem just get off the train.” Shruti exploded. Her already frayed nerves gave way to anger.

Other commuters were eyeing both of them with curiosity. Nothing is more entertaining than a train fight. Most of them probably had opinions about the argument but none of them said anything. Since this wasn’t Shruti’s regular train she got no support from strangers.

Just then the train slowed down and came to a stop at Ville Parle. A bunch of women rushed in and Shruti took the opportunity to slip away and take her position at the door once again. A college girl took the seat the woman had asked Shruti to sit on. She gave Shruti a black look. Shruti saw the expression and for some reason felt the same sensation of something being amiss. She looked away but continued to feel the woman’s eyes boring into her.

The train had almost reached Khar Road, Shruti recognized the place by the stationery compartments of the Rajdhani which were washed every morning in the yard there. A man was using the water from the pipes used for cleaning the train to take his morning shower.

The tracks wove around on the ground glistening like silver streaks in the early morning sun. Inside the train she could hear a girl besides her giggling away on the cell phone. Another lady was softly snoring, and on the opposite seats two women were involved in an animated discussion.

Suddenly one after the other trains zoomed in on both the right and the left creating a cacophony and drowning every other sensation in the resonating rhythmic rattle of metal clashing against itself. There was an odd silence after both the trains passed which in the next instant slipped into the regular sounds of the commuters.

Station after station went by and the crowd increased. Shruti continued standing. She took out a book from her handbag and got immersed in it. At Churchgate the crowd poured out. Shruti did not see the woman again.

She reached office late but in time for the meeting where she had to make a presentation. After that there was a meeting with her reporting boss and then a conference call with an overseas client. As the day wore on Shruti almost forgot the incidents in the morning. The day also steadily improved as work concluded successfully and her boss was appreciative of her efforts. That Friday evening she went home in much better spirits than when she had left.

Back at home Mummyji had kept dinner ready and with her raised spirits even Shruti warmed towards her. Besides, the weekend had started and Shruti was in the mood to relax. Adit was also staying home and they planned to go out to the famed Siddhivinayak Temple with Mummyji on Saturday evening.

____________________________________________________________________

Raddi ke liye,” the man wearing a filthy dhoti, shirt and a red gamchha stood at the door. Shruti nodded and opened the doors to let him in.

The man entered carrying a gunny bag and a metal weighing scale. He squatted on the floor and the weighing machine rattled as he adjusted it for the task ahead.

Adit was watching T.V behind her on the sofa – an umpteenth rerun of his favourite movie Andaz Apna Apna. She considered asking him to help her carry the newspapers from the storeroom but decided against it to avoid Mummyji’s disapproval of making her son do some house work. Besides she liked looking through old newspapers and refreshing her memory of the events that had passed.

Shruti fetched the huge pile of newspapers from the storeroom, passing the kitchen where Mummyji was probably cooking some heavy weekend lunch for her dear son. She placed the bulk of newspapers and sat down in front of the man as he began his work. As was her custom, she started scanning through the newspapers, and handing them to the raddi-wala.

There was a time when Shruti used to spend leisurely mornings reading and re-reading newspapers but now life did not grant her that luxury. In her early morning rush she hardly got time to read the newspapers, though now as she went through them she realized she hadn’t missed much. Most of the news was useless, about politics which she didn’t care about and the weather which she could predict better then the Met Department. The balance was filled up with speculations on Abhishek and Aishwarya’s blooming romance, on the sets of the remake of Umrao Jaan – as if the nation had no other business than to know whether a former Miss World and the Bachchan scion were capable of romancing or not!

She quickly discarded the newspapers after a brief glance at each but slowed down as she came to the reports of the bomb blast on the 12th. Disconcertingly she stared at the pictures of the mangled trains and wounded people. Similar pictures appeared on the following days.

On the day of the bomb blast, a feeling of unreality had overwhelmed her as if all of it were a nightmare but these pictures once again asserted the reality. Shruti felt a slight shudder racing up her spine.

Mahim, Khar Road, Dadar … names of places she passed everyday without a second thought but as she read those reports her mind imagined the havoc that had happened just a week ago. She could almost smell the acrid smoke from the blasts, which in reality was just the strong masala that Mummyji had put in the tadka in the kitchen.

Her eyes moved on to a report that appeared everyday with stories of those affected by the gruesome act - “In memory of the victims of the bomb blast.”

Suddenly Shruti froze, stunned and unable to react.

Below the heading staring back at her was a picture of a young couple: the proud smirk of a man and the shy smile of a woman. The report read, “Vikas and Raksha, a couple returning from their honeymoon killed in blasts on July 11 is one more example of innocent lives lost in the mindless act of terrorism.”

Amidst the rattling of a train, and swirling visions of silver streaked tracks, a voice echoed in her mind: “Can you come and sit here?"

…and the newspaper slid onto the floor from her hand.






Edited by - Deepak Jeswal.

Disclaimer: Based on real incident narrated on a post on this blog titled "Fear" posted on Septmber 25, 2006. With the exception of that everything else is a work of fiction, characters existing only in my mind.


Comments:
Here I'm.

Now let me read it :)
 
And me too :) U dont know how i hv managed to squeeze out to be here.. but really good to see the story on the blog :D


(Sth gone wrong with the formatting i think...)
 
me here too...now going to read
 
This is your first story in blog - And becoming first reader in blog and I want to have to creadit also to comment first. here are my comments :)
 
I skipped the part "Fear" that I had read that yesterday only. :P

"She could almost smell the acrid smoke from the blasts, which in reality was just the strong masala that Mummyji had put in the tadka in the kitchen." This was the perfect scene that you have managed connect with the past memo to the present demo. :).

Reading this line I also have gone through the same situation as Shruti felt. (Thank god, I've not experienced the bomb smoke yet)

And Shruti has the same habit to go through the newspapers and magazines as I do have. I can't through even a paper without checking it once :).

Very well picturize of the typical mother-in-law and the hubby and newspapers mania :).

Very well written and the story is best because it dealt with the day-to-day life of a normal human being.

Keep writing. We look forward to read more story from you too :)
 
Me too here..
Let me read it now...
 
hi juneli, good to see you first.
 
aaj aap ko thank you bolne ka din hai. Thank you so much for managing to come and check the post.

and ya IE mein kuchh gadbad hai, trying to sort it out but blogger not working well on IE for some reason.
 
hi Jay, aayie aayie, batana kaisi lagi.
 
hey,
that was too great a work..was here exactly at 5 but waited for other regular readers to comment first as mine would be an unknown name.Cheers and God bless!!!
 
Aha, I see the response coming in... this is so tempting, i wish i cud stay back :P

( BTW, by default, I happened to be the first to read, no? :P Ok ok, just kidding...)

Anyways, now finally rushing off. I promise to hv one drink extra, as cheers to Pri's first story :D
 
hi juneli, thanks so much for reading and commenting.

OK the para you liked, can't take credit for it coz its Deepak's he suggested it.

your good words are enough encouragement for me to write more.
 
welcome navjot waiting for your comments.
 
hi taarika, its always great to see someone new. I am happy you liked the story.
 
sirji, do you notice, you are doing all that I do on your stories includng the credit ka cake khana for being the first to read.

and ya responses are coming in. God bless them for taking out time for me like this.
 
Hi Priyangini...

Just finished reading the story. I particularly liked the very matter-of-fact narration... haven't come across that style too often. And one line I really liked, 'Nobody in Mumbai tells others what to do, no one bothers really and never in the first class.'

Was a real engaging read. Looking forward to reading more stories from u...:-)
 
hi chips, thank you for the good words. am not particularly good at elaborate narrations so don't even try. glad you liked the style.
 
Very well written. Liked reading it ...
 
hi navjot, thanks but bas itna hi comment?
 
DJ - your "by the way, by default" is not counted here as it's blog and official readers would be counted when it get publish in the blog :P.

And one more thing that DJ - tagged me "as a late latif to comment" so that I wanted to be here first to break that image and read the story parallel with work :D

So you said it here. My guess was correct ... it was his idea as he is master in that and I always mentioned such thing is his story :)

So party is going here but have to leave... getting late otherwise I would miss my micro to my home by minutes :). But you enjoy it.
 
Nice story Priyangini :) After reading 'The Editor writes' on RE I was excited to read this story for two reasons.

Reason 1. Being born and brought up in Mumbai I can very well imagine what the hell working lady has to undergo everyday. Before marriage I hardly had travelled by train coz my maayka is in central part of Mumbai. After marriage I myself used to leave home at 7.15, catch 7.45 Churchgate from Virar, get down at andheri,catch bus for Juhu. After office hours catch train from Andheri., U can imagine the crowd at andheri stn after 6! Reach home around 8.30, cook food, eat at 11. Go to bed at 12.30. again get up at 5 in the morning. Horrible!! (Washing clothes in machine, laying dining table kind of jobs were assigned to my husband). Fortunately my in-laws were/are not staying with us so got relief from the typical 'saas-bahu' ke arguments. After shifting to Mira Road situation became worst. At least I used to get place to sit at Virar. Here, it is just impossible to enter the train.

Reason 2.: I love ur writings. Love Ur writing style :)

"The bus that came was burdened with a crowd .......... She couldn’t inch away anymore and as both her hands were full she suffered.". Ufff! Its disgusting esp when we cant identify 'him.
"It wasn’t really being felt up that was humiliating; it was the helplessness and inability to stop or even avenge it that took her goat." True, very true.
" She could almost smell the acrid smoke from the blasts, which in reality was just the strong masala that Mummyji had put in the tadka in the kitchen.". Tadke ka smell and smell of acrid smoke. Wow...you have linked it so effectively! Thats really brilliant.

Sorry for the lengthy comment. But after reading Ur story I got engrossed in old memories, the pain, troubles I underwent that time.

Keep writing Priyangini. All the best!
 
Priyangini! Wow! When I started to read it..I thought chalo just like "Fear", but the end blew me away!!!!!!

the narration, the tiny details within it - just great! I did get the chance of everyday commute in August that summer when I was in India and even though I was there for a month i got a good taste of Mumbai on the run, in the train, and on the run again. You've captured it so well in this story. I dont know how many Shrutis live in the myriad suburbs of Mumbai. You even had the description of washed Rajdhani compartments down to the T!

And I couldnt help but smile at your description of the photograph "proud smirk of a man" haha! Just absolutely stunning! Loved it loved it loved it.

very WONDERFUL AND AWESOME!

now I hear this is a part of a trilogy..wheres the next two?
 
I also loved the part where there is silence in the compartment after two fast trains pass by....brilliant writing there! Don't know if it was there in "Fear" also?
 
Aha I see some great responses to a lovely story :)

How much i missed being part of the celebration when it was here! But as promised, I had the extra drink :P

Kaush - the description of two trains passing, the silver glistening of the tracks, and the ensuing silence - that's truly a mind blowing description, and had found it awesome and wonderful when i first read it :)
 
The impact of your story can be felt by the fact that after reading it thru Madhu sent me a text message for an additional comment (she's not in town and cudnt access net to type it out). But here is her comment :


" Actually I was so lost in my personal life after reading her story that I forgot to mention that Priyangini has portrayed Shruti, her anxiety, attitude so well that it can be called 'Face of Mumbai's working women' :-) My engrossment itself is a proof.So pls. convey this additional comment to Pri on my behalf..." - Madhu
 
Yep, have done all things that u do, even sending u out last minute mails :P

But as i said earlier, it was fun being on the other side this time ha ha ha...
 
hi madhu, thank you so much and i love lengthy comments so bring it on. I can imagine the difficulties of living in Virar, one of my colleagues does and poor thing can only think of getting home once the clock strikes 6.

Shruti's commute is identical to mine so thats all from real life probably thats why it has come out well. the para you liked about the "smell of smoke and mummyji's masala" is deepaks.

thanks also for the additional comments. btw are you still in Mumbai or have fortunately escaped the rigmarole?
 
hi kaush, was eagerly waiting for your comments, last evening was wondering what time it was on your side of the world and whether you had read the story or not. thanks so much for liking it.

the other two are under contruction have started one and the other is still in the head.
 
hi sirji, now I know you had a good time at the function. extra drink ??? hmmmm bahana hi chahiye tumko for the extra drink iss baar story ka mil gaya agli baar kuchh aur nahi?

and ya the idea to put in that para describing the landscape was yours so credit aapko.

abt being the editor, see I told you its more fun on this side.
 
Hi Pri, really liked the no nonsense approach of the story.very subtle but significant short story..rather day to day experiences of every working man/woman in any of the major Indian city...looking forward to more of such pieces..

the situation is not akin to Mumbai only..infact we face similar drugedry in Kolkata too!!!
 
hi... a nice beginning.... and a nice touch - weaving the real train incident into the story... i am sure most of your readers thought back of that post... as for the rest of the comments, i'll hold them back till the end!
 
hi jay, thanks for good words. I am happy I was able to convey the daily grind of the city.

I dont know about Kolkata but I can imagine it to be similar.
 
ok anki, Thanks for liking it. but without giving your comments you have given me a critique by saying you will comment in the end coz there is nothign further the story has already ended, there is nothing more to it.

Or do you mean at the end of the trilogy??? If its the former and you think there is still more, I know where i have gone wrong.
 
Hey Priya!

Not sure if u remember me,but here I'm.Have been waiting ages for this!

Hmmm..WOW..Amazing stuff!Finally,after all this time,you wrote a story..and surprise,surprise-its a superhit!Can't resist from saying 'I told ya so'!
Flow of narration is great,realistic yet gripping-the situations and dialouges are too good!Read 'Fear' after reading the story..phew..can't imagine what you guys must have gone through in that period.

All in all,great read-best thing was that it was really a short story..most short stories are quite long!!Er..when's the next one up?!!

P.S.:Just one suggestion- It should be 'lose my job',not 'loose my job'.Sorry if I'm nitpicking,but that seemed to stand out in the otherwise brilliant story.Have noticed that before in one of ur posts,so thought I would mention it here..hope u don't mind!
 
Aargh, Ragz, more than Pri, its me who is grimacing. How could I hv missed this?
 
end of the day I meant.... i'll read the story again and write comments aaram se...

ps - this was supposed to be a follow up comment of the previous one, but i got lost in a maze of meetings
 
hi ragz, of course I remember you. thanks for reading and commenting. glad you liked it.

abt the size, its how it is because I can't write more than this :D

Ouchh, that was a stupid mistake. thanks for spotting it. I am a bit lose when it comes to spellings errr, loose i mean :)
 
ha ha sirji, now you know how it feels when someone finds a mistake in the story you edited even if it is in a measly punctuation mark. ;)
 
oh thank god anki, you scared me a bit. now i will wait for the proper comments.
 
Ha ha so this time you DO manage to end it the way i had asked you to, the girl dead and her photograph staring to the protagonist. Good job Priyangini! You have captured all that i would have wanted to, and done total justice.

See thats why all of us LOVE you, for the vivid pictures your words have.
 
vyom, thank you so much. glad you liked it after all it was basically your idea.
 
Ok... i am back...

actually, when i read it, it was the disclamier that told me the story had ended... as a reader i was expecting it to go on... which is a good thing because i liked what was written till then... the build up and small incidents in Shruti's life were interseting to read... and very very identifiable... even for someone who doesn't travel by the locals everyday...

but the thing which is not so good id that all the build up didn't exactly reach a solid conclusion... the end was well written, the last two lines are impactful... but i feel you created a very nice backdrop of shruti's daily life... which goes almost wasted... it seems to me like an untied end in the story...
 
The touches like cursing the heavy laptop when you gotta run, the bus from lokhandwaala being the preferred choice and a foul mood arising out of it were bits i liked...

tell me, why didn't you elaborate on her day in office... that part of the story whooshes across, leaving the train incident fresh in the mind... so when i got to the raddi part and the human stories... i kinda guessed where this was leading to... was that intentional?
 
hi anki, thanks for the appreciation. since you write your opinions are really valuable. abt the end, it was supposed to hang in the air without any solid conclusion. I suppose it does feel incomplete but then to me elaborating further seems forced.

and ya the rushing thru the day was because the day's events would not have any impact on the story it was irrelevant, the main thing was the clash in the morning and incidents that led to it.
 
Hi Pri,

That was a story well told.
I liked the pace of events on the backdrop of blasts n daily routine of a mumbaikar. How on a day started on not-so-good note, everything seems to be going wrong.

Saas-bahu thing was nicely portrayed too.

Good to see you back writing.

BTW, i liked ur pensive peeks.

nostalgia is a blissful.
 
Hi Priyangini. Was out of stn, came back on Thursday. Yes I am very much in Mumbai but had to quit my job due to some health related reasons. So I started conducting cookery classes which is my hobby.
 
Priyangini,

I can see that you write too often now which is understandable, as what I remember of you is as your life went when you were still writing on rediffblogs. For some reason, I was looking for your blog and got here through Anks's only to find this wonderful story.

You always had a very beautiful and clear writing style which I admire endlessly. However, this story must be rated very high on quality standards, even those I expect from beautiful writers like you. I wish you wrote more, and more regularly.

However, if allowed to make a change, I'd remove the last line :)

Thanks for this lovely story Priyangini.

-- Akshaya
 
Perhaps, one day, I'd make a short film out of it. It makes for a very very good script, incase you didn't realize this yet :)

Hope I'm the first one to ask for the rights!
-- Akshaya
 
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